The Descent Before the Rise: How Emotional Lows May Be Preparing Us for a High

Life often tricks us into believing that happiness is a permanent destination. We imagine a sunny plateau where the air is warm, the water is still, and nothing ever goes wrong. We spend our energy trying to protect that state, to hold onto it, and to avoid anything that might pull us down. But this desire to stay only on the high ground is not only impossible; it is strangely destructive.

To understand why, let us first look at water. The most important thing to realize about water is that the up and down movement, the wave, is absolutely essential. If water does not go up, rain cannot happen. If rain does not fall, there is no water below. And if there is no water below, nothing can go back up again. This wave, this constant rising and falling, is what creates life. We see it in the ocean waves. We see it in rivers. A river flows slowly at times, but it is the flow that keeps it fresh. When water moves up and down, when it flows with energy, it stays alive. That is precisely why we can generate electricity from a flowing river. That is why the ocean, with its constant waves, supports so much life.

Now, consider what happens when the flow stops. Imagine a body of water that no longer moves. It sits in one place, stagnant. Soon, moss grows in it. Insects breed. The water becomes filthy and begins to rot. Bacteria multiply. The same principle applies to our emotions and our mental state. When we become obsessed with only being happy, when we try to freeze our lives at a high point and refuse to come down, we become stagnant. Even if we are sitting on a great height, a peak of success or joy, if we become stagnant there, that height becomes useless. We will begin to rot even on that peak.

Going up is important. But coming down is equally important. The crest and the trough, the rise and the fall, are both vital.

This is where our understanding of feeling low or the periodic sadness, heaviness, or unexplained emotional lows that plague most of us must change radically. If we try to avoid these emotional lows by simply forcing ourselves to be happy, we often end up creating the very low we were trying to escape. Pure, uninterrupted happiness is not possible. Joy becomes meaningful partly because we also know contrast. That contrast, whether sadness, heaviness, uncertainty, or emotional descent, often paves the way for renewed joy. Natural emotional lows often accompany the peaks we are meant to experience. To move from one peak to another, you do encounter valleys. The valley is not a problem. It leads you to your new destination.

It is exactly like the water cycle. For water to go up into the clouds, it must first fall to the ground. For it to rise again, it must first be released from the clouds. The cloud gets refreshed only when it lets go of the water. It first releases the water downward, and then it can draw the water back up.

Think of your own breathing. You cannot say, "I have taken in oxygen once, so now I will never release the air." You have to let it out. Breathing in is important, and breathing out is important. So what is that low feeling? It is the exhale. It is the release of some of the pain and tension we carry inside. And what is happiness? Happiness is the inhale, the fresh energy we take in. But if you try to keep that fresh energy inside forever without releasing it, that is not permanent happiness. That is choking. And choking will destroy you from within.

Many of us have experienced a peculiar kind of fear even during our happiest moments. We try to hold onto happiness, to protect it. But that is not possible. And the attempt to hold it creates a hidden tension. Let me give you an example. A dog may gently hold your hand with its teeth playfully out of love. If you yank your hand back, you get hurt. The scratch does not come from the animal. It comes from your resistance. It comes from your fear. The same thing happens when we face any situation in life, especially a difficult emotional phase. When we overreact to the feeling of sadness, when we resist it completely, it just grows. It does not grow because the sadness is powerful. It grows because our resistance is powerful.

Here is a practical truth. Let us say there is a relative in your life with whom you have spent wonderful times but whom you would want to avoid because you are feeling low. She comes to your home and you feel your mood worsening. But here is the key. She cannot completely determine your inner state. Why? Because she has also made you happy many times in the past. You also know that when she realizes you are feeling low, emotionally burdened or depressed, she does try to help. The way you feel is not a simple direct link between her presence and your happiness or sorrow. The deeper truth is often our inner state and the way we choose to react based on circumstances and our current state of being.

Once you realize that no person or event holds absolute power over your mental state and that it is actually an internal automatic reaction, you now have a choice to respond consciously rather than react automatically. Avoidance is not a long-term solution. The more you try to protect yourself from her or others whom you feel like avoiding during a low phase, the more you make your lows difficult to resolve. Overindulging an emotional low can make it behave like a pampered, entitled child. The more you indulge it, the more unreasonable it becomes. By protecting yourself from every possible trigger, you are not finding peace. You are simply climbing higher and higher to avoid the water, but the water will keep rising.

There is a beautiful story about Lord Krishna and the river Yamuna. Krishna's father, Vasudev, was carrying baby Krishna in a basket. As he was crossing the river, the water started rising. So Vasudev lifted the basket a little higher lest the baby get wet. The water kept rising higher and higher as Vasudev lifted the basket higher and higher. The water had now risen to almost Vasudev's head. Baby Krishna realized that Vasudev did not understand why the water was rising. Krishna simply extended his foot and gently touched the water with his toe. The moment he touched the water, the river subsided and went back down. Yes, this story might not mean much to you on the surface, but the message is profound. As long as you keep trying to protect yourself, as long as you keep saying "I don't want this person, I don't want that situation," as long as you keep pampering yourself and avoiding every discomfort, your distress will keep rising. The moment you let go, the moment you say, "Alright, come what may, it doesn't matter," the water goes down. The moment you allow the discomfort to come, it peaks, then falls, and makes room for ease to return. This cycle is part of life.

Now let us talk about another great source of suffering: expectations. We must understand that every person has a certain profile, a certain destiny, and a certain pattern. You cannot convince a touch-me-not plant to stop folding its leaves when touched or at night. If you try to force it or use glue to keep the leaves open, you will only end up hurting the plant. Similarly, you cannot force your mother or your spouse or your friend to live exactly as you think they should. If you try to change them to fit your expectations, you must ask yourself one question. Who really has the problem here? Do they have a problem, or do you have a problem?

Consider this. If you sit down and ask your mother what you should change in your life, she will give you a long list. If you ask your wife, she will also have a long list. So here is the irony. They have a long list for you, but why do they have a list? Because from their perception, you have to improve in so many things. But if you are perfect, why do they have a list? The truth is that everyone has a list. So here is the wise solution. You keep your list to yourself, and let them keep their list to themselves. You live happily, and let them live happily. If someone gives you a list of things you must change, simply take the list and remain silent. Do not give them a list in return. Because if you do, you will both be wounded. Everyone will be hurt. That solves nothing.

To summarize, the practical strategies are simple but profound. First, accept the cycle. Allow yourself to rise and fall. Allow the sadness to come without resistance, because only then can fresh happiness arrive. Second, stop overreacting to people or situations. Your resistance is what causes the pain, not the person. Third, let go of the expectation that others should change for you. Their pattern is their own. Your peace is your own.

Finally, all of this remains theory until you experience it. Philosophy is like reading the formula for the area of a square in a textbook. You can read that area is length times breadth, or that volume is length times breadth times height. But until you actually work through a problem, until you understand why we say "square centimeter" or "cubic centimeter," the concept is not truly yours. For many years, I did not understand why we talk in cc when it comes to a car or motorcycle engine. I just knew that higher cc indicates higher power. A 50cc moped is nowhere as powerful as a 1000cc motorcycle. Then one day it clicked. The term 'cc' is an acronym for cubic centimeter. It indicates that the unit of measurement 'cm' has been multiplied by itself three times. The moment that clarity came, I could never forget it.

The same is true for this philosophy of life. You can listen to it. You can read it. But you must contemplate it. You must meditate on it. You must apply it in your daily life. Just like the immunity you build over years of practice, just like the skill of making quick decisions during a crisis, just like learning to swim or drive or skate, this understanding will grow with practice.

So here is your path. Listen. Then contemplate. Then meditate. Then practice. Learn to take care of yourself not by building walls, but by allowing the flow. If your difficult relative comes to visit, you do not have to lock yourself in a room in fear. Simply say, "I am going to rest in my room, feeling a little low today. I hope you don't mind." That is a strategy. That is a small wave. That is a healthy movement. That is the secret to embracing life holistically.