Starving the Hungry Ghosts: Break Free from Memory Driven Cravings

In our previous conversation, we spoke about the deception of depression and anxiety. We explored how these conditions ride us, how they make us look for excuses, and how we unknowingly feed them those excuses so they have a reason to exist. We talked about how depression and anxiety use our memories as food, hacking into our past to justify their presence in our present.

But there is more to this story. There is another kind of circuit, another kind of hunger that operates in the shadows of our minds. And to understand it, we must first understand something fundamental about memory itself.

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Memories are not simple things. They are not just text files stored away in some dusty corner of the brain. When a memory is stored, it is stored as multi-dimensional data, connected to multiple sensory inputs. That is why you can recollect tastes. That is why you can recollect smells. That is why you can feel again the emotions of a moment long past. The memory of your grandmother's kitchen is not just a visual image. It is the smell of spices, the warmth of the stove, the sound of her voice, the feeling of being safe. All of it, stored together in a way that allows different senses to access the same memory and feel different things about it.

Everything we are able to do, everything we are, is because of memories. The way I speak, the way I walk, my balance, my connections with people, all of it lives in memory. Memories are not just helpful. They are essential. They are the foundation of who we are.

But here is the problem. Memories are accessible not only to the good parts of us. They are also accessible to circuits that can harm us. To negative circuits. To the parts of our brain that, when they function far beyond their utility, can cripple us and handicap us.

Anxiety has a role. Depression has a role. Critical thinking has a role. They all serve purposes when they function within their proper bounds. But when they become chronic, when they become illnesses, when they become obsessions that play in the background constantly, that is when they become a problem. That is when their access to our memories becomes dangerous. Something negative gains access to something so positive, so fundamental to who we are.

And then there is another layer. There are memories from our childhood, from those developmental years when we experienced the world before we had the words to understand it. These are memories from a time when we could not cognize the world the way we do today. There is not a lot of logic attached to them. They are pure experience. The food we ate. The things we enjoyed. The love we got from people close to us. These memories are incredibly powerful. They are stored in ways that are beyond language, rooted more in emotion than in reason.

And when negative neural circuits start hacking into these particular memories, that is when a specific kind of problem arises. That is when we encounter the problem of addictions. The problem of cravings.

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Let me speak from personal experience. Take my own case. Why is it that I go all the way up to maybe 90 kilograms, then come down to 70, then go back to 90, then come back to 70? Why this constant expansion and contraction, this endless cycle of gaining and losing?

It is not because I have poor willpower. It is not because I have some inherent problem that makes me lose control. It is because of these memories and the way they dance with certain neural circuits. A dance that can become toxic. A dance that can impact us negatively without us even understanding why.

Here is what happens.

When you start feeling low. When you start feeling depressed. When you experience certain emotions or when you are lost in the day. When there are stressors you are not even fully aware of, subtle stressors that pull at your physiology like a slow, constant, steady current, hurting your metabolism, straining your neural circuits. As that keeps happening, new circuits begin to function. And what do these circuits do?

They start looking back. They start digging deep into your past. So deep that you have absolutely no conscious control over what they find. They go back to those early memories, the ones beyond language, the ones rooted in pure emotion. And when they connect with those memories, something shifts in you.

You start feeling a connection with those memories. For me, I start wanting to eat something I ate in my childhood. Something I cannot even name. I eat a little bit of it, then some more, then I want more and more. So much so that sometimes I find myself standing in the kitchen, staring into the refrigerator, not hungry but unable to stop the search. My brain is asking, "What are you going to give me?" And I have no answer.

I have asked my wife many times, "What can you make for me?" And she asks, "What do you want?" And I have no answer. Because the answer is not something I can verbalize. The answer lives in a place before words.

Those circuits have accessed memories from when I was young, from a time when I did not have the vocabulary to say what I wanted. But my mother knew. She intuitively understood what to give me. She gave me the things she felt were good for me. Over years, that became a pattern, hardwired into my brain without any logical explanation.

And today, when I feel low, when I feel like that small child again, I go back to those roots. I want that kind of food. I want that environment. I want that experience. But I do not know how to speak it. I do not know how to express it. I just crave it. There is no language for it.

This is the problem with cravings.

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When many of us struggle with cravings, when we fight with addictions, we need to understand something fundamental. Addiction is again a neural circuit exploiting your old memories. It is a different kind of circuit, perhaps, but it is doing the same thing as anxiety and depression. It is accessing your memories. It is wanting something.

When you crave a pizza or an ice cream while feeling down, you have to realize that craving is not because you are hungry. It is not because you genuinely want the ice cream. It is that circuit reaching out for a memory and saying, "If you eat this, you will feel good." It is an illogical connection. An irrational interpretation.

But we give in to it. We eat the ice cream. And we do not feel better. The problem continues. The discomfort stays. So we think maybe one more cup will help. We eat more and more until we feel sick. And then we realize nothing has helped.

So what do we do? We blame our mood. We blame the way we are feeling. We think maybe we did not consume the right brand. Maybe this company has stopped making the good quality ice cream. Maybe we need to find another brand. And now new excuses are formed to justify the old circuit. New layers of rationalization.

The key thing to remember is this. Just like the circuits of anxiety and depression, the circuit of craving is also something that needs food. And the food it needs is your memory. When it digs into those old, pre-verbal, emotionally charged memories, you end up craving. You end up reaching for something you cannot name, something you cannot explain, something that promises comfort but never delivers.

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So what do we do? How do we break this cycle?

The first thing we must ask is this: how can I stop fueling this addiction? How can I cut the connection between this circuit and the memory? Is there a way to ensure that the circuit does not have unlimited access to the memories it uses as food?

I have decided on an approach. It is simple, but it is not easy. When I start feeling like I want to eat something and I do not have a name for it, I am not going to eat. When I feel hungry at a time when I am not supposed to eat, I am not going to eat. I am going to pause and ask myself: am I genuinely hungry?

If the answer is yes, then I am going to select food that will help my body. Food that will nourish me. Food that is good based on research, based on scientific study. Food that will nourish my neurotransmitters, my mood, my physiology. But here is the important part. I am not going to give my mind the kind of food it is asking for. I am going to choose food that does not have a deep connection to those old memories.

And even though I know this food will not make me feel the way the craving promises, I am going to hold on. I am going to wait. I know from experience that if I can hold on for 20 to 25 days, something shifts. A magic happens. Suddenly, I start to realize why I do not want sugar anymore. I understand why I do not want that food I used to crave. I feel divine. I feel all powerful. I feel in charge.

It has happened to me many times. I know I will feel that way again. And I am looking forward to this journey where I will feel good again, feel great again, feel in control and powerful once more.

Will it last forever? Probably not. There may be a fall later on. But if that happens, I will learn from that fall too. So that the next time, the journey is even better.

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This is the practice. This is the path. We observe. We become aware. We use our cognitive progress, our consciousness, to slowly extract ourselves from these cycles. And this is where meditation comes in. This is where mindfulness becomes not just a nice idea but a practical tool for survival.

When you feel that pull, that wordless craving, you watch it. You do not judge it. You do not fight it directly. You simply observe it and choose not to feed it. You cut off the fuel line.

And here is what I want you to take away from all of this. Your cravings are not your fault. Just as chronic anxiety is not your fault, just as chronic depression is not your fault, chronic cravings and addictions are not your fault. They are the result of circuits accessing memories in ways those memories were never intended to be used. They are circuits using those memories as food, as fuel for their own existence, and in the process creating cravings that make you consume more and more of whatever it is, be it food, nicotine, alcohol, or even mindless scrolling through Instagram reels and YouTube videos.

Once we realize that these are just circuits, once we understand what is actually happening, we can work on keeping them under a watchful eye. We can moderate how they function. We can control the inputs they receive. We can cut off their access to the memories they feed on.

And if we can do that, if we can just cut the fuel line for these circuits, I am certain that our cravings will reduce. Our addictions will reduce. We will be in control once again.

The hungry ghosts within us only have power as long as we keep feeding them. Stop the feeding, and eventually, they have no choice but to fade away.