Just One More Day: How to Heal Future Longing Today

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The One-Day Desire Effect: Overview

We all have a few of our loved ones stuck as memories. The bitter sweet moments are all there in our head and at times we wonder if we can edit those priceless moments to make them sparkle. We wish at times to iron out a few creases, address a few pending strokes and make that relationship a perfect memory. Alas, we don't have an edit option! But what if, there is a way to edit and create perfect memories. What if we can address that longing for just one more day. What if there is a way to make the necessary changes so as to create a memory so perfect that there are absolutely no regrets....

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We’ve all felt it—that sudden, aching wish for just one more day with someone who is gone. This is the "One-Day Desire Effect." It’s the powerful desire that emerges when we reminisce about old relationships that have been lost or when we miss loved ones who are no longer there.

This morning, I was caught in its grip once more. I thought of my grandmother, my grandfather, my uncle—people with whom I shared wonderful moments, who are no longer here. I found myself thinking, if I could just get one day with them, what would I do?

The moment was filled with emotion. I could actually conceptualize it: how I would make full use of that day with my grandfather, all the things I would finally tell my grandmother, the love I would connect with my uncle over. I knew exactly what I could do with that one day.

But then, a sobering truth settled in. This is not going to happen. It is wishful thinking. I can imagine it, feel gratitude, and send my love into the ether, but it is unlikely they will manifest for a single day. The opportunity is gone.

This left me with a pressing question: Why am I investing so much emotional energy thinking about those who are already gone, when all I need is just one day to feel complete with them?

And if one day is enough for that sense of completion with those I've lost, then what about the people I love who are right here, right now?

The People We Take for Granted

Think about the person you love deeply—your spouse, your parents, your children, your friends. They are the constants in your life. And precisely because they are constants, the "one-day desire effect" doesn't apply. We take their presence for granted.

It’s a tragic irony that we yearn for one day with the departed, while we have countless days with the living. We let days and years pass by until we arrive at a point when the person is just a memory. It is then we crave for the 'Edit' option.

But what if we changed our perspective? What if we used this powerful feeling not for regret, but as a guide for our present actions?

Your Invitation to Live Fully

For most of us the "One-Day Desire Effect" is a retrospective wish born from the feeling that we were not fully "there" when they were. And 'Now' we want to be with them when they are no longer here.

But what if, we can address future 'One Day Desires' right now—How about a proactive approach to our relationships. Instead of looking back with regret, we can look at what we have now and utilize it in the best possible way.

The logic is simple and the process could be life changing:

1. Imagine the Loss: Think of someone you love who is currently in your life. Now, imagine a future, a year or two after they are gone. You are looking back, wishing for just one day with them.

2. Define the Day: What is it you would want to do on that day? What would you say? How would you connect? What unfinished business would you complete?

3. Live That Day Today: Now, here is the crucial step—go and live that day today.

If you would wish for one day to tell your mother everything she means to you, do it now. If you would wish for one day of undivided attention with your child, give it now. If you would wish for one day to clear the air with a friend, initiate it now.

The Gift of Completion

By doing this, you accomplish something extraordinary. That hollow, incomplete feeling you get when you realize there was something left unsaid or unspoken? You can fill that void now. You can complete those emotional transactions with the ones you love, ensuring nothing of importance is left lingering.

You address a future longing in advance. Later on, when you naturally reminisce about these times, your memories will be filled with a deep sense of satiation and satisfaction.

You can look back and say, "Yes, I did finish that day. I did live that day. I don't need another day."

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A few paragraphs that I omitted from the blogpost. What if these were the ones that would touch your heart. I don't want to regret having omitted them, lest sometime in the future I wish I had included these thoughts as well. So here are those few lines.....

Let's break that cycle.

Let us use the time we have, connect while people are here, and think of this one-day effect as a tool for living, not for mourning. Let's imagine a life without them so as to truly appreciate life with them. Then, let's use that clarity to connect deeply today.

Don't wait for the day after which you cannot make any edits, but get stuck in a longing unfulfillable desire. Let the memory of those you miss today, be your guide. Use its power to fully embrace the people who are still with you, and live in a way that leaves no room for that future, heartbreaking wish.

The best way to honor the loved ones you've lost is to love the ones you haven't!